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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in
evolvingdesire's InsaneJournal:
| Sunday, April 5th, 2009 | |
| 12:01 am | Time is almost up I was tonight going to write something about the nature of all love and lust. I kind of got sidetracked. Man goes on shooting rampage in immigration office. Man goes on shooting rampage and kills a bunch of cops. Man goes on shooting rampage and kills a bunch more cops. Riots break out everywhere that 2 "world leaders" meet. North Korea launches missile over China. I want to ask something of you, world, and I want you to believe me when I say that despite how the question sounds, it's not rhetorical, and I'm not being sarcastic. I'm serious about it, and serious that I don't know what the answer is. Do you want this? I think you don't. I saw at one moment in my life evidence that we absolutely don't. But on that day the choice was pretty clear and the fix for the problem we faced, in comparison to what we face now anyway, was easy. So maybe I'm wrong, and maybe this is what you want. All who I can speak for is myself, and I can say, quite positively, that I don't want it. So I've spent my life trying to avoid it, and trying to bring about the world I do want. That search had led me in all manners of unexpected directions, such as the one that you probably came to this journal expecting to read about. So now demonize me for what is going on in my mind, irrespective of what has gone on by my hand. You tell me that I'm crazy, that "no sane society would accept" this (words from my single harshest critic, who I'll get into at another point). "No sane society". Right. *looks around* You got an example of one? For a while now things have been getting rapidly worse. But now the bullets are starting to fly in earnest. You're almost out of time. And that leaves you with two choices. You can either turn yourselves off, turn away from your role, turn off your mind, and keep doing things the way you have them because the pain of changing course is greater than the any pain or numbness you think you'll get from the End of Everything. Or. Or, you can start really questioning what you believe. ALL of what you believe. All truth is interrelated, so if you have a blind spot in one area, its lie has the power to spread itself through everything else you believe. The truth I came to is one about love, one that has put in me in an extremely personally uncomfortable position because of one of the forms it takes in me. But as unpopular is that truth is right now, I look at the world based on the opposing view, and the facts are as clear to me as the hands typing this post. It has failed. Let me say it again, loud and clear. Your World Has Failed. Almost no one is happy. Almost no one is at peace. Almost no one has any real faith in the justice of any existing system or in any existing leader. Almost no one thinks of this as any fitting any previous visions of utopia; on the contrary, it's hella close to quite a few dystopian visions. 1984. Blade Runner. Heck, I showed the movie "Brazil" to my wife, and the only thing that shocked her about it was that she wasn't shocked. Meanwhile, there has been this other world just waiting over here. And there are no barriers to admittance outside of the one non-negotiable of being unafraid to love. That's all you have to do, and it is something that every last person walking the earth is capable of. So I have to ask again: do you really want it? Because the time to choose once and for all whether or not you do is nigh. And the nature of the question is that if you don't answer it, the default answer is "no". |
| Thursday, April 2nd, 2009 | |
| 12:57 am | What I'm protecting First of all an administrative note. I have submitted a request to the IJ Abuse team to reconsider the CL community friends-locked posting policy. We will see, and I will post once I have a response. There comes a question from certain corners: if I'm so certain of the rightness of my position, why do I hide? The answer to that of course should be obvious to anyone not being purposefully obtuse. Right or wrong has little to do with prevailing social winds. Anyone with a 5th-grader's grasp on history can tell you that being right on a subject does not mean that it is safe to speak about it. Nevertheless, I am in the slow process of coming out. I'm not afraid of what might come to me for being who I am and believing what I believe. I can't be. That is no way to live. It has already been side that we die inside when we start to be silent about the things that matter. So if death comes to me from others, then so be it. That is not what I'm afraid of. It's their hands that will be bloody, not mine. No, what I'm afraid of is that there will be more than me affected by such mass insanity, and it is those people I have to look out for and protect. I have children of my own. ( Read more... ) Current Mood:  peacefulCurrent Music: Robert Rich |
| Wednesday, January 28th, 2009 | |
| 11:09 pm | Response to policy This is long delayed, but I've always had the intention of responding to it, so now I shall. Last March (wow, has almost a year gone by already?) the This was, to be sure, better than the reactions of LiveJournal and GreatestJournal: both of them went straight to the ban hammer. A year later we're still here, and IJ isn't doing too badly either. Nevertheless, while I respect the fact that IJ not only made the decision to respect freedom of expression but also communicated with us person-to-person about it (despite my sense that they feel about as strongly against us as many of our other opponents), I cannot agree with the wisdom of this decision. This is my public response to it. "Sensitive"? There comes a simple question that comes up repeatedly when the question of minority viewpoints is raised, and it is this: why it is the responsibility of the speaker to make sure that the listener is not "offended"? Why are other people's reactions to my words my responsibility? Shouldn't figuring how to deal with that solely be on the shoulders of the "offended", or in this case "sensitive"? Assuming, of course, that I, as a speaker, have done all that is reasonable to ensure that I have not forced my speech on them? If I were to drive down the street blaring these words from a loudspeaker that would be one thing; someone in that case would not have the easy option to just ignore them entirely. But this forum has to be actively sought out. So if someone does that, and then is offended by what they see, how can their offense be in any way my responsibility? One could say that is the very point of friends-locking entries, and to that end, there is somewhat of a point here. Someone who had to jump through the hoops of asking to be invited in would lose any last complaint they had about having their virgin eyes defiled. But there are two negatives with this approach that override the positives. First, one of the strengths of not only most of the internet but most passive education is that it is both anonymous and unobligated. If you want to go the library to read a book, for example, you seldom need to ask anyone's permission, nor do you typically leave any trace of your activity. In other words, you can read with anyone knowing that you did; not only is this a desirable trait in our current Homeland Security society (I did hear of one story of someone who got a federal visit because of the books he read, no joke), but given the intense controversy associated with this topic, it's very easy to see all sorts of reasons someone would want the security of knowing they could read about it consequence-free. How does anyone know for certain, for example, that I'm not a mole, and that the community isn't just one big elaborate sting operation? Second, even for those who are "sensitive" to this topic, the very point of speaking about it is to address the reasons for this sensitivity. This point has been made so many times in so many debates about free speech that it grows tiring to have to reiterate it. If someone is, indeed, "sensitive" to this topic, then their reading about it will do one of two things: it will either question their sensitivity, and force them to look internally at any flaws in their approach, and yin-yang, it will give them an opportunity to voice exactly their concerns back. Let me be clear if I've never said so before: in every last thing I believe in, I could be wrong. I need peer review no less than anyone else. I'm here to speak, but I'm equally here to listen. On the other hand, by keeping this community locked down, you only feed into the paranoia. Mandating a veil of secrecy for something whose nature is already frightening to many by nature of its socially-required invisibility is only going to keep all parties involved from a sense of peaceful and mutual understanding. For the way that IJ has handled this difficult issue they have my respect. But they do not have my disagreement. Furthermore, I do openly question whether or not this policy is consistent with the declaration on their home page:
But I'm not going to make a big fuss about it. I'm only going to do the same thing that I am looking to do in this community itself: start a conversation. IJ: you've stuck with your guns this much, and I appreciate your civility and respect. Now I ask for your reason. Please take a look at this policy and reconsider it. |
| Wednesday, September 24th, 2008 | |
| 1:46 am | Time to play offense Some weeks ago I had something of an emotional break, like the long awaited rolling back of an unwelcome wave. I think it is necessary to share it with all of my brethren. Put simply, we're right. And I am tired of being on the defensive about this. Our way is about love. And love is the one value that virtually all prophets, religions and philosophies recognize as the only way forward for us as a sentient being. The forces that represent opposing energies, those of hate, self-loathing, fear, dishonesty, shame, they may have control of virtually all of the current power structures that wish to tyrannize our world. But that makes them no less right. When we are shut down for speaking these things, our opponents concede the debate to us. When they respond to our reasoned arguments with long, toxic Pedobear threads, they admit that their fear of what happens when someone takes these ideas seriously. When they wish for our deaths, they align themselves with anyone who has ever wished that upon someone either for what they say, or for doing something that they despise for reasons emotional but completely irrational. When they hate us, we win; and we win not for ourselves, but for everyone, including our haters. I burn with passion, and I never feel more right then when I submit to it, let myself be fully awash in it. Masturbation is my meditation. I always come out of it more at peace with my being than just about anything I can do. When I try to sit quietly, my mind is flooded with conversations, ideas, worries. When I masturbate, I am alone with my desires; they wash away everything but what I most cherish like a full-body spiritual cleansing. And when I am at peace with my desires, I am at peace with everything. Shame for one's desires is the most irrational of concepts. You were born with those desires. Your blood was injected from your conception with that fire. What sense in God's name does it make for you to feel even the slightest shame for them? Would you feel shame for having the wrong color eyes, wrong height, wrong voice? Yet it is not just that I was given this inclination, and righteousness is only a function of doing the "right thing" with it, which if you would listen to a typical anti would mean something like not walking within 50 miles of anyone under 30, wearing a neon sign on my back and front, and registering my every footstep with some cold, concrete authority. I love my desires. I love my fantasies. Every day I want them to be deeper, hungrier, dirtier, wilder, more lustful, more erotic, more fantastic, more subversive, more magical, and yes, more real. I seriously want all of these things: why fantasize about them if I don't really want them? My desire drives my very breathing. And yours too. If there is nothing you want, why even take one more breath? Every time you inhale, you affirm that you too lust for something. That is not some poetic metaphor. That is the very description of the continued existence of qi, the eternal regeneration and evolution of that life force, the process that keeps the fire burning, burning ever more. I say it's time we start making this point again. It's time to stop reacting to the deafening wave of media-driven hysterical madness with nothing more than cries of unfair treatment and sadness over how difficult it is to be us. It's time to yank the mic from these banal corporate hacks and tell them flat out: no, you're the one who has it wrong. Our way is the sane path. Our way is the one that nature smiles upon. And our way is the way that makes for healthy, beautiful, joyous children. You make war. We make love. Tell me: in all of human history, which of these two has damaged children more? Our world right now needs exactly the kind of love we have soaked in and made a part of us. My brethren, the time has come to stand up. We have every reason to be at total peace with who we are. And now, more than ever, we have every reason to say so, as loud as we can. Current Mood:  determined |
| Tuesday, April 29th, 2008 | |
| 4:12 pm | Child "Protection" Services? We need protection from them! In the latest nanny-state-gone-wild story, a father (a tenured professor of archaeology) gets his son taken from him for two days and is unable to return to his own home (!) for a week for not realizing the lemonade he bought his son was alchoholic. No one even suggested that it was anything other than a mistake, there was no alchohol even found in the boy's blood stream, but right down the line no one could do anything but abduct the child from his family because ... get ready for a shock here ... they were all "following orders". Over and over again I can only give a sad laugh to these kind events, which at this point I have to think happen every day. Supposedly I'm the predator. Yet I've been fighting most of my adult life to stop these kinds of governmental abuses so that families can raise their children in peace, without interference from statist control freaks who look at children as little more than a bounty. Oh, and yes, I've had access to children all of my life and have never laid a wrong hand on them, let alone do anything horrid like this. Cross-posted to Yeah, I got a word or two about that coming soon. |
| Saturday, March 29th, 2008 | |
| 10:48 pm | Feeling better Sorry for going so emo on you guys in the last few entries. It gets difficult, you know? Well, in the case of a lot of you, I imagine you don't. Most of you reading this don't have the first-hand experience of being so on outside of societal norms that it weaves its way into everything you do. For example, it was one of the main things that cost me my job last year, despite the fact that it had nothing to do with it (tech industry, fer chrissake). The boss denies it, but I think that's because he's one of those types that is so caught up with his vision of liberal utopian enlightened purity that he can't bear to admit his hypocrisy when he actually has to implement the values he's so quick to shove on everyone else (I read an article in a recent Details that the worst parents to grow up gay under are the ones that most vociferously preach and push tolerance about it. I would not be surprised in the least). In any event, I am OK. OK enough anyway that I'm not going anywhere. IJ's recent rule that the And really, knowing my hand better than anyone else, I don't think I'm doing too bad. No, not too bad at all. |
| Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 | |
| 12:49 am | Is anyone out there? Would it weaken my case for me to admit that I often feel despair? That I feel it even more these days? It's a strange thing. I know how the story ends. I know in the end we all turn our just fine. I know this full well, as much as I know the hands typing entry. But... I was watching Babylon 5 tonight with my girl. (Spoiler Alert). We're in Season 4. The Centauri emperor is dead, and the Narn are celebrating. They are destroying the palace and screaming their calls for bloody revenge. G'Kar tries to talk sense into them, but has to laugh and walk away. One of the things that I despise most about almost any form of fiction is when a certain character becomes a foil to a main character, by representing the alternate viewpoint, but doing so in an exaggerated, unrealistic way. So I'm very sensitive to it: sometimes too much. I had that sense watching these Narn go ape. Except that I look at our world, and not only can I not find fault with this depiction, but it is starting to seem like an understatement. Take the Iraq War. "We attack them in their land, because they came to ours." Is that our statement or the 9/11 bombers? The amazing thing, something that just hit me recently, is how the bloodthirsty political right declares this in no way any rationale for the 9/11 attacks, but is perfect rationale for our response to them. A third-grader could see through the flaw in this logic. That's what we've come to. All of you people who come here because one day you took a break from your endless lulz-fests to see that someone was saying something icky: do you actually know even one thing that I believe in? And if you remove sexuality from the topic list, can you even come close? When I was in college there was an essay question I once got about how I would handle an angry mob. The answer I gave didn't convince the professor, who felt that I wouldn't be able to convince them in turn. These days, I have a hard time arguing with him. I look around me, and most of what I see is mass insanity. And as much as possible, I don't mean that in a elitist way. I mean that in as clinically as I can. Reason has now gone so far out the window that I don't even know what anyone can say anymore to get through. The recent community activity just underscored it. Never even mind what people think of me: the first thing that came to mind in just about the entire horde was "OMG, I don't like what they're saying, shut them down!" This is despite the fact that in most cases, they didn't even know what we're saying! They probably didn't read much past the word "childlove" before going feral. One of the people who found it responded with the monumentally ignorant comment, "Shouldn't that be against the rules?", though at the very least it was an admission of said ignorance. The notion of just letting people speak their mind didn't even occur to most of them. What do you do with that? When the most basic of human principles fall so far from our collective wisdom, what do you do? We are in the middle of a global consciousness meltdown. Mania is sucking person after person in. Even the person who introduced me to a lot of the principles of peaceful anarchy has now gone all Ralph Nader on me, and screams hateful bile about anything not Democratic due to the current war, as if the only political party in human history to detonate a nuclear device over a civilian population knows the first thing about peace. I don't know what to say or do anymore about it. Part of me says the answer to it is simply to adopt a Buddhist perspective, and let it all happen as its supposed to. But that kind of thinking has never held much appeal to me. I'm alive; therefore, I'm supposed to be doing something. Granted, doing nothing is still doing something, but it's still just one more choice, and I'm not convinced that its de facto better than any other. Thing is, despite what a lot of people may guess, I'm not so much concerned about my own life. I'm going to die someday, and that someday could come any day. I'm perfectly at peace about it. I'd prefer it to be something a bit painless, but I only have so much control over that. No, it's not my death I'm concerned about, it's my life. In all things I think in terms of obligation; it's not deliberate, it's just how I think. I feel an obligation towards something greater, at all times. And in many times in my life, that obligation has come to me in the form of some very clear directive. Do this project, create this web site, talk to this person, write this essay, run for this office (no joke). Now... now I really can't tell where it's directing me any more. There is a statement that not all who wander are lost. That is true. But some still are. I'm lost in the woods. I need a compass of some kind, because all I know anymore is the dirt beneath my feet, and what road I was able to follow before has become indistinguishable from the rough. I long so badly for a meadow like the ones I've known before, and one in particular, the one that I could stare up at the skies at all night and not get tired. Now I'm tired all the time. There is still a deep core of peace in me that won't be shaken. No one can take that from me. I just wish right now I had more of an idea of what to do with it. I'm lost. |
| Saturday, March 15th, 2008 | |
| 1:41 am | Third way late night babble Think it was about time I actually added an icon. Not the most striking, but I don't want the pain of something that can more obviously be linked to me being so. It's the same as always: it's not that I'm embarrassed about a single thing I am or that I write. It's just that dealing with the drama is a pain, and my life doesn't have room for that kind of annoyance. Besides, that icon is important to me, in a way that no one who doesn't know me will get. I was talking with my girl tonight, and she asked me a question that got me to thinking about something that I didn't realize was bothering me as much as it was. She asked me what the difference between being "poly" and being a "swinger" was. I tried giving her an answer, and then it got my gears moving enough that I tried typing out a long entry about this question. Unfortunately my words ran too close to painting those who use those words with broad strokes, which wouldn't gain anyone anything. So rather than try to discern which of the approaches represented by these words is "better", let me just lay it on the line with how I am. It's not just that I lust. It's that I have to lust. Put into very high-end philosophical terms, lust is the universal motive force that keeps life moving. So to that end, different approaches to how to pursue it are fine, but they must be seen only as tools, methods to be used where appropriate, and discarded where appropriate. Chances are you came here because you saw that I am a childlover. Or at least, that's what you presume. In actuality, that term (among other problems) suffers from the same problem that any other descriptor does: it unfairly restricts its target by presuming that they are defined by that approach. Yes, I love children. I also love adults. I also love order adults. And, despite what you may think, I love them equally. That's my point. None of these approaches are some favorite that I focus on. To the extent that I give them more attention from time to time, it's because a) our desires naturally ebb and flow from one set of objects to another, and b) circumstances often wind up pushing our focus in some direction... like, say, getting into a 300-comment flame war about such topics. I really don't care much about where my desires find their receptor other than that the receptor is willing. And I really don't care what form they take either. You want to know my dream party? Try this: I am sitting with just my jeans on in some corner while some beautiful soft acid jazz trance is playing. The lights are dark, with just some candles and maybe blacklight on. I'm on some delicious but not debilitating psychedelic. I have in front of me a somewhat tall brunette: thin, but with nice soft breasts, which I am massaging. While doing so, we're talking about governmental systems and I describe how mechanisms of control in human society simply never work forever. I'd tell you her side of the conversation, but in my ideal setting, she's telling me something I've never heard before, hopefully something that makes me think about my views hard. Meanwhile, my girl is in the corner receiving the affection of several people. She is talking to one of them about her life experiences: again, the specifics are more important to leave to imagination, but I can envision quite a lot of potential topics. One couple is in the corner having sex outright. The DJ, a friend of mine, is deep in his zone, and knows that what he's spinning is part of what is making this evening a reality: he doesn't have to join us down in the pit, because he's already there. A few friends on the other side of the room are sharing some of the food the host made, and talking about what kinds they like: they are clothed and keeping the conversation lighter, but aren't clashing with anyone else in the room, because it's not about the specific activities, it's about the desire to just feel what you most need to feel. One person is dancing. One person is doing his own tarot reading. Oh yeah, and just to throw a bone to those of you expecting me to say it, one person is there with a 14-year-old that he knows: she's shy at first, but sees that no one there is forcing anything on anyone, and slowly starts to see that there is nothing happening here but *real* life itself. This is just an off-the-cuff description, but do you get it yet? It's not about desiring children, or adults, or men, or women, or dogs, or toucans, or motorcycles, or buddhism, or differential equations, or german chocolate cake, or weird comic books, or empty net goals, or ANYTHING. It's about desiring EVERYTHING. It's about wanting to spread as much blinding, delirious passion with every person I can, because I want to experience it myself, and the best way to do it is to push it out in the world so that it comes back to me three times. And it's the "comes back to me" part that you pedohunters should take note of, because there lies your proof that I have every incentive not to abuse anyone. If I were to abduct a child tomorrow and have my way with them just because I could, even if I got away with it, and even if my morals didn't kick in about what I had done, I would still be interfering with my own cause. Because that child would grow up like the Violet of two posts ago: hating just about everyone, afraid to touch anyone, spreading self-loathing so bad that it's all I see in people's faces when I wake up and take the bus to my equally-filled-with-self-loathing workplace. And guess what: I already do that with everyone I encounter, in any way I can. I get called a childlover because my dream is that there will someday be a world where we have woken up from this collective paranoia enough that will be one way that people can. It's not now, I have no illusions of that fact. But in the meantime, my point really in posting tonight is that I am in a phase of my life now where I need to be surrounded by people who feel the same. People who have lust for life. If you are such a person, please feel free to friend me. Heck, if you're most anyone not here to hate or abuse, please feel free to friend me. I'm just looking to spread it. And after the cyclone of change the last few years has brought, this is suddenly feeling like one such place to find such people. If you are, here I am. Look forward to your company. |
| Wednesday, March 12th, 2008 | |
| 12:11 am | Quick update It seems that I've gone from almost entirely invisible to being far too noticed. No biggie. But the coach has called for a timeout. The recent brouhaha (I just love that word... say it with me ... broouhaaahaaa) is up to 283 comments and counting. That's about enough for me for now. It's a crazy concept, but even us pedos (however "not human" we might be) do not live by flame war alone. Trust me, if I know me, and I think I just might, I'm not remotely done making people scream at me in horror. Hey, everyone's got to be good at something. So you'll have more chance later. Also, anonymous commenting has been shut off. Sorry: if I can put myself in a position for a possible future lynching with my words alone, you can damn well register an account. And the usual rules still apply: R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me, or find the door. ... Now for those not just coming here looking to spread their righteous outrage... Have you ever gotten to the point where there's so much that you want to say that you wind up just trying to break through the silence because the common language that we still use for life's mundane needs is suddenly inadequate to the greater issues? I think this explains so much of what attracts us to the arts. It's a language that is far more liquid than our clunky verbal language. I actually dabble in the arts myself to find this very release. Of course, since there are plenty of those coming here just itching for any evidence that they can send to the feds I can't even reveal what art form I take part in let alone what I've produced; thanks for ruining it for everyone. Of course, that's what a lot of people want anyway. They have so much energy invested into believing I'm not human that little would scare them more than for me to publicly show the most undeniable evidence that I am; and that would be the act of creation itself. See, I'm trying not to bring everything back to that. Really, what I'd like most is to not even need this account, to not have to split my personality like this. Because it all works together. Everything I post in my "public" account is related to what is in this one. This type of intellectual schizophrenia is part of why the world is so screwed up. We think of different subjects as existing in their own separate universes, despite the fact that there is no more obvious fact in the world than that they don't. I'm tired and rambling. But it still beats enforced silence. Sorry all my critics, but as long as I am breathing, I will not shut up. Not because you ordered me to, anyway. |
| Saturday, February 16th, 2008 | |
| 11:08 am | What real sickness look like I found a post recently that sums up the kind of world the pedohunters would gladly drag us into. One of fear, loneliness, and spreading of self-loathing like some disease that lives for nothing more than new hosts to conquer. Over in Wordpress from a "Violet Leaves" post about something she read in Girllove. The quote she passes on goes like this:
Now I have to say, that is one of the most beautiful things I've heard in a long time. In a world of spouses that treat their children as an afterthought, the notion that one would make this kind of public, everlasting commitment to a child whose life he was marrying into (ie, not "his own") is breathtaking. We don't see this kind of love and awareness much these days. But of course, we know why. It's because of reactions to this like hers. Instead of celebrating this type of fatherly commitment, Violet throws a panic because, well, this whole marriage is nothing more than a facade used by this evil pedophile to nab a little girl! "Lolita" was right! Someone stop them! (And she does call for someone to try to find out who this is and wreck their lives if they can). That she jumps to this conclusion and wants to follow through on it is sad enough. But what she suggests as her alternative still hits me like a black tidal wave:
I read that last night, thought about it most of the night, and even now coming upon it again it still shocks me. She is actually suggesting that children of single parents should be forced to stay that way because, OMG, what if he ... touches her?! All of those things that you've heard about all your life that make a parent so great: love, advice, security, financial stability, teaching, helping, growing ... yeah, forget all of that, it's not important. What's important is to make sure the no one ever touches my precious little angel! No price is high enough! Violet's mind-numbing hysteria naturally leaves black hole-sized gaps in logic. For one thing, what makes an adoptive parent any more naturally a child lover than any other? So clearly, we can't trust biological fathers either. They should all be forced to give up their children at birth. But wait! Violet seems to be forgetting that there are female childlovers out there too. So clearly mothers aren't safe either. And of course, it's one of the most open secrets in the world how many children grow up playing doctor with a friend or relative their age. Obviously there is only one solution to this. Since none of us humans can be trusted, we need to all be taken from our birthbeds by robots, and kept in isolated biospeheres until we're 18, or maybe even 21. During that time she should receive with our education instruction on how evil human desire is, and how we should never trust any touch with any other person. Procreation should happen only artificially, with mates chosen according to who is the least threat to society. Those who wish to touch another person should be licensed, with well-funded governmental agencies designed to weed out any undesirable touchers. Such applicants must necessarily go through an extensive screening process in which they will have to prove that they are clean of any unfit and immoral... No, sorry, I can't go on. Though I clearly type this in sarcasm, in truth I'm not laughing, because I don't think that this is far from what the Violets of this world would like to see. But neither am I personally threatened by this. Rather, I'm sad for Violet. Read through the rest of her posts and you'll see the thread emerge. She is miles deep in fear, and she wants to drag others down with her. She is living proof of what I've been saying for years now: that for many people, love, true, powerful, empire-destroying love, the kind that knows no rules or boundaries or dogmas, "amour fou" in short, that is what truly scares people. And by her hysterical reaction to this story, in which not the first sexual activity takes place but the purest of love thrives, she proves that this is her primary motivation. Fear of love. It is what this upside-down world now runs on, and she is one of its growing oligarchical wanna-be chieftains. I refuse to be. I love to love, and I love to love more every day. Rather than feel oppressed, the more I see reactions like this, the prouder I am to be what I've chosen. That's where you get it wrong, Violet. Yes, you are a professional victim. But no, in fact, contrary to what you may tell yourself, it is by choice. My apologies if such declaration is not what you want to hear, but as God is my witness, I refuse to choose that with you. (Crossposted to |
| Monday, January 14th, 2008 | |
| 12:51 am | Guess what? When the LiveJournal strikethrough occurred one of the points that opponents to it (ie, nearly everyone not either a CEO or a fundamentalist of some stripe) made was that when you silence an opinion you don't kill it. You simply drive it underground. So, have you noticed that I haven't posted in a long time? Yeah, guess where I've been. While you all have been presumably celebrating your victory, I've been here the whole time, still doing my thing. Let me take a moment to explain the purpose of my name. Desire is the motive force of the universe. Want. Lust. Greed, if you will, though I'm less crazy about that term. The force that makes a being want something for no reason that can be explained by any type of rational thought, that is the force that keeps life existing. The rules are beneath it. When the structures that we invent, whether they be political or religious or societal interfere with this desire, they get scrapped; immediately, without thought, and without vote. Do you not understand that that was the whole point of Romeo and Juliet (a story about underage love, BTW)? If I am alive, I will desire. When you change the rules for what happens if I pursue my desire one way, I pick another. As long as I breathe, I lust. I desire all manners of pleasures and experiences with all manners of people, black and white, male and female, young and old, sometimes very young and very old, and even more rarely not even necessarily human. If you tell me I cannot speak of my desire here, OK. I'll speak somewhere else. In the time since LiveJournal became just another corporate facsimile of the now-further-underground internet anarchic magic they today pretend to still connect with, I have been looking around the web and discovered that even for all that I had previously stated this, the World Wide Web is now unimaginably big. In a single day, if I wanted to, I could create 100 new accounts at 100 new hosts and sites. And if I wanted to, you wouldn't be able to find a single one of them, let alone all of them. Of course, that's not how I operate. I'm found because I want to be found. I want to infect every last person I can with the same insatiable hunger that I have. Actually, more to the point, I want to infect them with the cure that lets them see that same hunger in them. You world has taught them that these desires are somehow unnatural. How it's possible for someone to be born from nature with something unnatural is left to the logic that only a hysterical moral censurer can possess. In any event, even if you manage to bully some new home of mine into silencing me, before you do I'll have spread my ideas to ten more people; people that may not have even left their names for you to hunt. I'd ask if you yet see the futility of your crusade to kill us all with your campaign of boredom, but I think for the most part, you've decided not to be swayed by any evidence. So for you, I'm not going to bother. I'm just going to keep doing my thing, just as I have before. And now, you won't even know where to look. Thanks, actually. I'm even more free than I was before. But I'll still be here at the same time. I have a point to make here, and I'm far from done making it. And the owners of this new home have stated that they won't shut anyone down without a court order. So you have fun working on that. I'll be having just as much fun on my end. |
| Sunday, December 23rd, 2007 | |
| 2:42 am | Hee hee Oh my, but did I just come up with the most deliciously evil idea. |
| Monday, August 13th, 2007 | |
| 11:58 pm | Home at last? I'm not doing any introductory post. I'm tired of it. Chances are you already know who I am, so hi again to you if so, and if not, I'll update my bio sometime soon. Now, what was I saying? I'm trying these days to spend more time self-educating, and was reading the Wikipedia page on Maximus The Confessor. It's his ultimate fate that stands out to me:
"Along with Pope Martin I, Maximus was vindicated by the Third Council of Constantinople (the Sixth Ecumenical Council, 680–681), which declared that Christ possessed both a human and a divine will. With this declaration Monothelitism became heresy, and Maximus was posthumously declared innocent of all charges against him." One minute X is heresy. The next Not-X. Whether your tongue gets cut out or you are a venerated saint is all dependent on when you were born. In our nothing-existed-ten-minutes-ago world we have mostly forgotten that our current save-the-children mania is relatively recent. It was just a few decades ago in the 1960's, in fact, that child sexuality as a social issue was becoming part of the large set of social norms coming under large-scale reconsideration. Yet given the shivers that even the mention of the word "pedophile" sends down the spine of your average person, you would be forgiven for not knowing this. I am here to discuss. Howz about we start to show a little more foresight than our tongue-chopping predecessors and just let it happen? |
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